Alternative and Fat guide to Fall!

It's fall! As you know from the horrible "craft" I did last year, I don't really like fall. Honestly it's overrated as fuck and I hate the colors that come with this season. There's tons of shit on the ground and it's just a general mess. 

The only good thing about this season is one holiday that happens in it.

But, fuck me up, I had a year to think of some damn awesome tips for fat femmes, babes, girls, cakes, and assholes alike. 

This is going to be my super omega try hard post for this season, so let's hope you like it!

Fall Ass Tip #1, Don't use sweater weather as an excuse! ✩

Anyone who has been fat for like, 5 minutes can tell you it's really nerve wracking - let alone being a super colorful and eye catching babe. A bad feel about your body means a bad vibe in general, and most plus stores tell you to just cover it up and wear sweaters - giant blouses - chiffon trash bags - and loose, loose fitting stuff.

But I learnt something very important recently. Wearing oversized clothing to hide yourself is stupid! Giant, super baggy sweaters that hide yourself are only fun when you choose to wear them. It's very easy to just cry "Sweater weather!" and hide your body to avoid eyes who want you to hate yourself. Hiding, and burying yourself is useless. 

"But Ai", you whisper "what the fuck else do you wear in fall besides fucking sweaters..."

Let me tell you!

✩ Things to wear in fall that aren't giant sweaters! ✩

✩ Fitted turtlenecks

✩ Cardigans

✩ Maxi Dresses

✩ Shawls

✩ Cardigans

✩ Scarves over long sleeves

✩ Sweater Tights

✩ Sweater Vests... I guess

✩ Blazers... I guess....

Okay, towards the end we started getting a little messy, but... that's a really broad list! There's tons of creative, colorful options there. 

There's nothing wrong with being too scared to show off or let your VBO show, but you shouldn't hid yourself because of others. All bodies are beautiful all of them deserve to be shown off, all season! It's so easy to not try to get form fitted clothes when you're large because finding good ones is a struggle. But, when you can, try to do that struggle.

Smile with the warmth the season is missing and love yourself with the same intense red the treeline is filled with.

Fall Ass Tip #2, Don't wear neons but don't wear sad drabby colors! ✩ 

I support wearing all colors all the time, but sometimes neons and really pastel shades can stick out a little bit between the leaves. On days you plan on being outside or just chilling with the flow a bit more, it can be a bit too much to wear tropical, vibrant, or neon tones.  

Very fall colors are warm, meaty tones. Meaty, dank, thick tones. MEAT.

Reds, oranges, yellow, greens, browns, and tans. I hate all of those colors together so it's great to find them in prints that are fun as hell! Leaves and lame, geometric or... "tribal" (shivers and cringes in pain) prints are so fucking boring and our fashion goes literally in the opposite direction. I own two things with a lame pattern and they were $1 when I purchased them.

The key to this is to cut out the "neutrals" but don't add in the explosions. White plain clothing with colorful, warmer prints or simpler prints with texture are the way to go for this season. I found two items that really, really fit this feel.

Fucking Ants Man ✩

If you noticed, this top from Forever 21+ is a tee shirt. I'd say wear it with a cardigan or a layered coat. Or freeze to death. Fucking faaashion.

The simple, textured sequin ants are enough to still be eye catching but they're so a very unique pattern. 

I feel like such a tool using words like "very unique pattern". Suck my ass.

Ants are fucking weird, I'd love to put them all over my long ass torso. Wearing this with thick, warm thermal leggings and a cardigan (or snazzy jacket).

Oh and fucking boots. All boots. Ankle boots make your thick ass thighs thicker than life. Wear them!

✩ Cheeeeeeeeeese :9

Check out this fucking shit. God I love shit like this.

On Amazon there are tons of weird, tiny printing shops. This stuff isn't that high quality so I honestly do not suggest getting this shit for winter. It's made of what I can only describe to the common people as "swimsuit" material, most dirt cheap printed shit is. But this little fucking burger, man! Man. 

This fucking meaty ass burger.

I love this fucking burger. This is the fall print for me! It's so fucking glorious.

It's so, so perfect. I'd pair it with a black turtle neck and fast food statement necklace. And probably thick leggings if I'm actually going outside!

Your ass will be ice, though. But cute ice! Burger ice. Meaty ice.

I don't even like burgers. 

Fall Ass Tip #3, Halloween this shit up shove a pumpkin in your ass! ✩

I'm very set in my ways of  Halloween being one of the funnest holidays out there. I'm so happy it's becoming more international so we can all enjoy the only good thing about fall! And that's it.

Halloween is one of the best parts of the year!

The four seasons, "It's cold and school", "School is ending soon and it is warmer and more people will be here", "School is starting soon and everyone is tired but it is warm", "Halloween and Holidays while it is cold".

There's so many shitty things about Halloween - racist and sexist costumes, the crime and rape rates that go up, people who drug kid's candies, people who are mean to kids, there's just so much. It's easier to focus on the positives and share the positive light!

Have fun with the shit you wear! Hang out with your friends in safer places! Let kids enjoy one of the only Holidays dedicated to giving them free shit with no consequences! Spook them out, but be fun! Watch some scary movies with your bf, gf, partner, S,O,, whatever! Just have seasonal fun!

I have some small halloween tips that have no reason! 

Tip one, is set a pumpkin somewhere! Small, baby one goes for around 4USD if you buy it at a farm - bigger ones are usually around 15-30USD! Sometimes more. 

Tip two, set a candy dish out! Something with festive wrapping or candy corn, if you can. It's okay to eat a little of it! Or a lot. Eat all of it, it's your fucking candy.

Tip three, hold on to your shitty 5USD costumes and halloween candy wrappers because I sure have a tutorial coming in November just for you.

You're deserving of the chill and love just as much as everyone else. Take care of yourself and enjoy! 

I don't know if Pumpkin Spice is still in. I never really liked it, I've always liked apple stuff for fall more - being from where I am.